


one candle for the year that has gone by

by SunflowerAndTheSea



Series: Life in fragments; of love and pain, and forgiveness. [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Birthday, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Team as Family, adorable immortals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26286676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerAndTheSea/pseuds/SunflowerAndTheSea
Summary: Being in Russia during winter is one of the worst decisions one can make - yet here they are, shivering in the middle of the snow storm, on another mission that may last for weeks, or days, depending on who knows what.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache & Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Joe | Yusuf al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Series: Life in fragments; of love and pain, and forgiveness. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895677
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	one candle for the year that has gone by

**Author's Note:**

> (year: 1902)

Being in Russia during winter is one of the worst decisions one can make - yet here they are, shivering in the middle of the snow storm, on another mission that may last for weeks, or days, depending on who knows what.

Death by cold and hypothermia is one very painful death.

Booker tries to move his fingers, grimacing at the dull ache in them as they refuse to bend all the way down, or unstick themselves from the riffle he has been holding tight, pressing it onto his chest as he curls into himself against another gust of wind. It rattles through him and he almost bites his tongue off as his teeth chatter, swearing under his breath in his mother tongue because of course this day is downright awful and he is itching for a drink but his flask is already empty. And he's turning 132, but that's the least important thing.

_(who is he kidding, right?)_

"If you continue glaring at the snow like that, it might stop falling."

The sound of the snow crunching comes from behind him, and a gloved hand falls onto his shoulder, offering a small dose of comfort in the cold morning; and he welcomes it because the loneliness always feels heavier on this particular date, so much that the voices of his (dead) family feel like whispers in his ear.

Tali's smile is small as she sits next to him, as if the snow isn’t there, soaking through the layers she has on herself, and he opens his mouth to voice his thoughts - but something in her smile was knowing, teasing; and it felt so easy to chuckle, to let some of the tension seep from his shoulders.

_(if he closes his eyes, he can even pretend the person next to him is a ghost of the past he refuses to let go)_

"That is my intention, but so far no results." he shrugs, as if to motion towards the piles of snow that had fallen just this morning, making him relocate in order to keep watch over their target. They haven't moved in a while, and every bone in Booker's body is aching, begging for the warmth of the fireplace that is in their cottage. Yet he knows that, if he is to go back inside, the memories will flood, and breaking down is always better in silence, alone, out of everyone's sight.

_(he made a mistake once, and the look in Andy's eyes was more than enough for many lifetimes; they couldn't understand, time having made stone walls around their hearts)_

Their silence stretches, and it's comfortable. Up to the moment when he wanders away, and the snowy slope is too similar to the one they had behind their house, and the scent of burning wood coming from the house being too familiar-

_(he reached for his flask, only to be reminded of its emptiness; and isn't that fucking poetic)_

Then, something falls into his lap and he snaps, hands gripping the riffle tighter until he realizes he is still outside and Tali is still next to him, her look knowing, familiar, and he cowered beneath it.

That's when he catches the sight of a small package - in brown paper, the size of his both palms pressed together, with a thin thread holding it all together. It's neat, which means she or Nicky were the one to wrap it, and he raises his gaze to find her still looking, still waiting.

"Come on, open it."

Embarrassingly, his fingers shake as he pulls the thread and takes off the paper-

(he's stalling - so he neatly folds the whole thing and he can feel her puff and smile at him)

\- and when he lifts the lid, there is a pastry there. Three of them, to be precise, slightly cold and getting colder but still looking fresh, with shiny glaze and a bit of cream peeking out.

"Éclairs. I know they're mostly cold now, and it's not much, but we wanted to do something and this was the only food we could agree on."

The sentence is already forming on his tongue to ask what exactly she is talking about, when she reaches for her inner pocket and pulls out something small, leaning towards him with a question in her eyes and as he nods, she sticks something into the pastry, almost shyly.

A candle; white and short, but a candle nonetheless.

"Happy birthday Sebastien." she whispers, and he feels like the air is knocked out of his lungs. Maybe it was, because for the next few minutes, everything stands still. His lungs, they feel like they're empty, and he is not even sure if his heart is beating, but it must be because he hears her settling down and waiting patiently, giving him all the time he needs to gather his thoughts; and he hears the snow and logically he knows someone is approaching, but he doesn't move, not until other voices join them.

"You are supposed to light it, make a wish and blow out the candle." Andy says, and like a child he dares stand up and look behind him; and there they were - Andy and Joe and Nicky, wrapped in many layers and armed, but soft in a way they look at him and it's almost, almost, too good to be true.

Everything else fades away from around him, and it's just them there, Tali pushing him closer towards their friends until they are basically huddling together.

The others form a wall, providing some coverage for the candle in the harsh weather; all four of them pressing together and looking up, four different types of smiles staring right back at him, and Tali lights the candle - and the flame is so weak and almost pathetic but his heart feels like it's going to burst; he closes his eyes and he wishes: for his memories to never fade, for the pain to grow fainter, for the ice in him to melt, for his new family to stay safe-

And he blows the candle out.

_(later, there is mulled wine and more sweets and warmth, but this was just as good; it's just as good)_

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr - https://chasing-the-sunflowers.tumblr.com/


End file.
